Tomorrow, we're attending a seminar which involves meeting other kidney patients, donors, learning about the ins and outs of the experience as a whole and getting all your questions answered in one big chunk.
Looking forward to it!
At the moment, however, I'd love to know why I've been feeling so drawn this week. Tuesday, I finished my usual exercise (10 mins on easy) and found I was more out of breathe than usual.
This is not normal. Usually after exercising, I feel energised, have breakfast porridge, then get ready for the day. In fact, one of my previous entries on here was written during an exercise week and I felt good!
Not this time. Since Tuesday, I've been feeling achy and my appetite's been playing silly buggers with me: I get really hungry to the point where my stomach's really uncomfortable then I can't finish the meal.
I've taken to pecking here and there as soon as I get hungry to make sure I eat enough throughout the day.
Not to mention distracted.
I work with Tom on his stories by reading them out loud as this helps us look at the structure and how smooth it is as a narrative. Yesterday, I had apparently begun making up what I was reading without realising. Not in a correcting nature...just...randomly.
The worst part is, I'm edgier. Because I'm in a state of discomfort, I'm mis-interpreting voice tones, comments and start thinking a situation is more intense than it needs to be. I also find, although I'm in a generally good mood due to the good fortune we've encountered this year, I've developed weird intolerances towards people and situations. Most the time I'm able to look past it thinking 'that's not me', but other times, I'll say something and Tom'll give me a negative reaction ('why the hell'd you say that?') then I'd realise that the statement was completely against my nature.
I'm currently just grateful that sleep's not a problem, it's just the other stuff which causes me hassle.
It could be one of a few things:
- I'm coming down with a cold. In which case, get on with it and just hit me. I hate the battle before the final defeat.
- It's a stomach bug, but I'm just strong enough to fight it...it's just hitting me in other ways.
- Tom getting a job and my finally making some headway as a freelancer is such a weight off my mind after a year and a half or so, my body is in shock from no longer feeling that year long tension.
- There's some kidney sh*t going down which I'm unaware of....something which should hopefully be answered at my next appointment.
However, I'm dealing with this. It's uncomfortable and a bit annoying to try and work past, but Tom's been a saint in helping me. I'm distracting myself with work and being social when I don't feel TOO horrible and as long as I'm open minded to the tones I hear others use and take it easy, I'm ok.
Here's the to the light at the end of this brief (come on, be brief) saga.