I always start these thinking they're going to be tiny entries.
I then have to whittle them down so they're not just me rambling for 3 pages!
First off, I'd like to say a huge thank you to those who've stepped forward for the test. I know it's a really difficult decision to make and I always go all warm and fuzzy whenever someone takes the step.
I also completely understand that there are those out there who'd like to step forward, but can't because of their own health issues. My father's one of them, and I love the fact that the thought is there anyway! I think I've said it before but mental support is just as strong as the offer itself. Trust me. I've got through some of the hardest moments knowing I'm backed by some amazing people.
My specialist confirmed that my feeling crap was down to having been mentally and physically stressed for the last 6 months. When Tom finally got a job, the relief and letting go was so intense, it hit my body like a shock, especially as it's not up to it's fully working capacity so couldn't handle this the way stronger people do.
And after I was hit by the shock of relief, this had a massive impact on my ability to think straight, but I pushed on, regardless.
Last Thursday, however, I finally conceded defeat, stopped everything, lay on the sofa and just slept. The longest nap I've had in a while.
In fact, I've been trying to recreate it since and haven't been able to. Think I finally kicked the exhaustion bug. It also helped that I had a kick ass weekend, saw great friends and ate terrific food so now feel amazing.
Yes, rest was the obvious solution, but sometimes, when you've got so many tasks lined up, it's difficult to do so as they're always in the back of your mind. During Tom's unemployment, I kept myself busy to stop myself facing our circumstances and do something of my own to help. When he got the job, the mental thrusters were on and I couldn't just stop immediately. I think I had to reach the tipping point before I could turn back.
However, although I'm now relaxing and over the worst of the exhaustion, I still want to keep myself busy without pushing myself (I can never just stop. I like to keep occupied).
So, I've taken on the best volunteer role to sate this urge: Community Champion volunteer for Kidney Research UK
Now, before your reading voices go 'seriously? You just said you were taking on too much!' that's what's so great about this role.
They hired me, fully aware of my health issues and immediately informed me I can undertake any task which suits me at the time (flyering, arranging collection boxes in shops, presenting in schools etc) and do so by my own schedule. If I need to, I can stop for weeks, even a month at a time, before I'm ready to come back and continue. I am my own boss.
They give me all the support I need, so technically they're helping me help them. In fact, most of their Champions are people who've encountered kidney failure directly or through family or friends.
And the fact that I have this role and can be of such help to a charity without threatening my own energy levels is thrilling! I can't wait to start planning once I receive the pack!
On top of that, I'm now involved in the next upcoming Purple Theatre Company show as Sorel in Hayfever.
This involves a chilled out rehearsal every Sunday where I get to see mates and the rest of the time, just learning my lines. Not the first time I've done that so no stress. And it's fun!
Will be posting more information on the show at a later date. Watch this space.
I'm learning to stay busy without killing myself whilst doing so! Lesson learnt.
Oh...and I'll just leave this right here:
WHAT IF WE COULD REGENERATE YOUR DAMAGED KIDNEY: