Friday, 29 November 2013

A deep breathe and...

The reality that on Monday I might be walking into hospital with a potential donor by my side is starting to hit home. I feel like I'm preparing for an intensive holiday. Of course, this might not be the case and we might have to keep on looking.

Either way, I find myself preparing for the hoooooooours of waiting from the testing to the actual recovery period.
I'm no stranger to waiting in hospitals. In fact, when something happens quickly, it actually throws me: 1) my second biopsy. We had a full day planned out, including parents picking us up from the hospital post a prior engagement. Ended up making our own way home as wasn't needed. 2) going for a blood test after work and literally walking in then out in 2 minutes. Now that's nearly unheard of!
Hospitals have a history of long waiting times. These can be for a number of reasons, some of them unforeseen circumstances. When they're 'patient actually doing badly' issues, I don't mind.
It's when I'm forced to wait due to admin error that I get pissed.
(On that note, I found this after writing this post: reason to try to not to feel frustrated when waiting at the hospital).

So, knowing I'll have a lot of waiting around, I've evoked the word of creativity in the form of film and literature and requested my friends throw their recommendations my way.

Oh, the flood gates! I now have a little booklet of titles I'm looking forward to either watching or reading when I'm in hospital. Some of them I've already seen, some I've heard of, others have my curiousity.
I've a mini-treasure trove! I may need to categorise them as watching a depressing film when I'm feeling blue might not be an ideal move. I'll save those for when I've focussed energy and I find myself wanting to watch something intense. Like those days you watch a scary movie just to give yourself a bit of a shock.

But having this list is actually making the transplant experience seem that little more exciting. I'm going to go through some uncomfortable stuff and having these things to look forward to will hopefully make them more bearable.
Not just for the waiting rooms either. Last time I had major surgery at 14, I spent a week in Intensive Care and as I began needing less sleep, I got SO BORED I used my breathing monitor as a form of entertainment. I also had a TV, but it was daytime TV so I spent most of that time, watching programs with my eyes glazed over.

SO! This time I wish to be prepared. I may be in hospital up to 2 weeks. I don't want to risk going nuts doing that time..

In other news, when my previous larp character went through a huge emotional horror, I decided I could either make her lose it and go a bit funny, or don armour and dive head first into doing something worth while. I figured I'd do the latter as it would be more productive for this particular character.
Despite having a huge urge to do so, I can't...really...don armour in real life, no matter how cool it would look. So, I decided to do something which sends out the same message as doning armour: getting a pixie cut. I've had long hair for a while...I'm about to undergo a huge experience. Might as well show I'm ready for it.

A rather lovely picture I found of Mulan pre-war on google from here:

Had one years ago. Must have loved it as I kept going back to have my hair trimmed
This is my way of putting on my armour and preparing for 2014.

1 comment:

  1. Francesca, you were born in armour, you are the bravest person I know. Therefore, there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel for you, and you are not alone!