Saturday, 7 February 2015

2 days and counting

Preparation packing....kitten unfortunately not included
Bag is packed apart from a couple of essentials I need to use before I head off, mum has my new slippers and cardigan top for me and Tom is now off work for the next few days til he's sure the operation went through without a hitch. It was his arrival back home that really made things click and on Friday night, I got a touch edgy and nervous. Until now, things have been a touch...surreal. Real but kind of in my periphery, which is why I had an attack when we went to do the physical assessment.
And now....the operation is rushing up...and happening soon. As of 4pm tomorrow, I'm going to be in hospital.

Had a bit of an end of an era moment this morning as I realised, tomorrow will be the last time I take just 4 simple tablets from this selection. As of next week I'll be on a butt load more.

My currently mini meds kit and thermometer
I want to use this post to take the time to thank Tom for everything he's done for me. It's been a ridiculously difficult ride these last 5 years and I've, on occasion, purposely taken myself out of the scene by going away for a few days to give him some breathing space from worrying about me (I can't escape this, but I can at least help him).
It's been difficult for both of us and although I've been on anti-depressants and in counselling for a while now, I've been urging Tom to take up counselling too, knowing how difficult it is to handle a situation not only out of your control, but also having to deal with the issues of the person you care about when you can see them in both pain and emotional distress. And there were points when it was taking it out of me knowing he had a boulder to push up a hill, almost daily, only to have it roll back on him when my mental went into self-destructive mode and I struggled to control it myself.
Tom's now been having counselling for a couple of weeks and I encouraged him into using an app I'd previously used to do some really basic yoga (and yes, I checked with him before posting all this) and the noticable.
It's been a huge challenge...for both of going through this and him having to watch and help out the only small ways he can.

So thank you, Tom...for being there...for everything. Including the floods, the volcanic eruptions the tornadoes of doom and any other natural disasters you can relate to mood swings.

Here's to an easier time after my full recovery....

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