Wednesday, 14 January 2015

Just over 3 weeks and counting...

Spoke to my transplant co-ordinator today and confirmed a couple of final details:

Next week sees both myself and my donor in hospital from 1pm to 5pm where we'll;
  1. Meet the doctor
  2. Meet the surgeon
  3. Have a chat with the independent advisor 
During this time, as well as undergoing a bunch of tests and the like, we'll be submitting all the paper work to prove exactly who we are, our connections and explain why the donor is doing what she's doing.

It's going to be a long day.


So...I'm sleeping. A hell of a lot better than last year. My brain still wakes up and does 'the thing', but at least I'm getting rest before hand. And now I'm in major organisational mode.
'A thing' is my official term for when I wake up early in the morning and can't stop thinking about concerns, solutions, general daily activities, musings etc. And nothing will stop it except for getting up and putting the TV on. Informing people I had 'a thing' is easier than explaining exactly what's going on in my head. It also explains why I may be sitting quietly as I try and focus on the screen before me.

Also - since establishing that the fear I think I'm feeling is actually my body's way of incorrectly dealing with the adrenaline rush that courses through me, I've now managed to channel it so I just feel buzzy and excited. Sometimes fear does slip through, but hey....gimme a break here. There's only so much control I can do. 

On top of this, I'm in full prep mode. Know that feeling when you're getting ready for a long holiday, writing lists, setting 'to do' deadlines, making sure everything's in hand? Yet at the same time, you feel a tad mentally lethargic towards other tasks because...what's really the point if it won't get finished by the time you have to leave and it's not really urgent.

That. That is exactly what I'm going through: holiday excitement and daily task lethargy.
So what am I doing to prepare?
  • Yoga and meditation - to strengthen my body and mind.
  • Removing my belly ring - had a sudden panic yesterday when I spotted it and thought of the MRI can't wear any kind of metals whilst your in there.
  • Booking a hair cut - nothing to do with vanity. I just feel really uncomfortable with shaggy hair and my fringe can drive me nuts
  • Tidying - this helps keep my head clear whilst I think about other things so I don't suddenly wake up in a panic at 4am going 'didn't do the thing!' despite not actually having reason to panic about 'the thing'.
  • On the 21st I need to check the Wifi on my tablet works in the hospital so I can arrange any back ups if I can't access Netflix or the internet whilst I'm recovering.
So that's my mental and physical bag slowly getting packed (actually, that's a good point: I'm looking at the big picture, but need to remember the smaller one...I can't forget my eye mask or my teeth brace or I'm screwed...another list to make).

And finally...visitors

Given I'm completely, 100% focused on the operation and pretty much sod all else, visits are to be arranged via Tom. We have NO idea how long I'll be in. Maybe 2 weeks with a gleaming recovery, or 2 months if complications arise.
That being the case, if you are interested in visiting, even if you've already told me, or even him and want details of how to get hold of Tom to arrange something if you don't already have his details, use the comments section at the bottom of this post and that'll come straight through to me and I'll pass it on (it won't be published unless I confirm its publication).

Now, I add this because a few people have expressed an interest in coming to see me when I'm a patient. First off, I know that distance and time for many people can be a killer and completely understand this.
I also know a lot of people have little ones which makes it harder. I'm allowed to see little ones, but only when I'm up and about and on hospital grounds, not in the ward.
And no flowers. Pretty to look at...potentially lethal to someone on immuno-suppressants.

So there we are. Just over 3 weeks and counting...

Every minute of every day, I find myself thinking about the surgery. There's very little else I do think about.


Now for something completely different


Can't remember if I've mentioned it in previous posts, but recently, Tom and I adopted a 3 month old kitten the RSPCA had named Spider. We loved the name and I embraced the irony against my arachnophobia, so we kept it.
I fell in love with her shy, yet clearly affectionate ways and her gorgeously glossy coat. Our time and patience was soon rewarded with a ridiculously playful, if still very shy kitten who loves to snuggle and has recently shown herself to be the actual kitty version of Toothless (from How to Train Your Dragon).

Spider...not the best photo but again...she's a kitten so....moves...constantly. Unless she's asleep.
Yes...we have already contemplated giving her tiny wings to create our own little dragon.
This bundle of cute is a little light in our mornings. When I sleep on the sofa due to feeling too twitchy, I say good morning to the ball of gorgeous fur we call Ode (our oldest cat) then go upstairs to use the bathroom and am immediately greeted by a black shadow with two huge green/yellow eyes and a full 5 second mew. She then jumps up onto the bed, waits for me to pick up a scarf to swirl around her, to which she then meowls again with an, what I'm now convinced is a 'yaaaaaay!! Best thing ever!'
It's a good way to start the day.

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